i hate coming up with titles

i'm distracted from my work again~~~ i only went through like 12 slides during the last hour. could hv finished evrything if i didn't take my laptop out, but yea. i'm distracted and i don't wanna do chemistry... it's so... ekk!!! i need to read like 4 chapters to catch up. didn't do ANY of my homework. gave it to zt.. .heehee.. that's what chem major friends are for. lol.. JK> i <3 her.

but i seriously need to catch up. b/c i don't really understnad prof. rohde.

anyway. i'm feeling much better. =) didn't cry today. yet! and i'll try not to. at all. it probably won't be that hard. i mean.

yea. so maybe it is for the better. it wouldn't hv happened if it wasn't supposed to. everthing happens for a reason. and i'll have to accept it, grow and become a better person. somehow, i know this will make me a better/stronger person.

i've been thinking a lot about what zt said to me : don't strive to be perfect; nothing in your life is set in stone. don't plan.
yes. i tend to plan a lot. esp with him. the plan was... that i would graduate, move to california, find a job, get married, and live happily ever after. who would hv thought that this plan you crash and burn?

so i think i would hv been better if i didn't plan for my life. just take it as it comes, spontaneously.

my dad called yesterday, and i talked to my mom too. i didn't tell them. how am i supposed to tell them? it was their dream that i got together with kevin. and now that it's over? i just don't know how to tell them. but i'll have to sooner or later. hopefully they'll get the message. somehow. or if my brother was smart enough he would notice the change on my "relationship status", but i don't think he'll realize.

it's monday....!~ and i don't wanna read my textbook... but i'll try to finish chap 9 by today... shrugs.

i can see cliff, but he didn't see me... cliff's kevin's roommate...~~kinda.

anyway. more stories.. yay!!! erm. so yesterday i went to the IM football thing. they lost, but there's this really cute guy.. hahahhhahha. he thought i was in dental school. and then i said no. so he asked how old i was and then i asked him to guess....
"20?"
no
"19"
no
"man now i feel dumb."
i just turned 18

man.. why do i have to look so old?????????/ but he was cute. and he had light brown eyes that looked hazel b/c it reflected off his green shirt.

anyway.. i should really read.