it's not right

st. patrick's day was crazy. woke up at 11, williamsburg to meet the ISU ppl who are supposedly coming down to visit.

i stepped out of the car, saw ziting and seufoong and the first thing they said was: 'eh, i dunno how u going to fit 15 ppl in ur house wei'
15??????
the night before me u told me 5-7.
yes. malaysians for you.

anyway. went bk to the house for frisbee and slacklining, dinner at texas (party of 16), then to the bars. the bars were dumb on st. patrick's day. maybe it's just today.

then we went bk to my place, still 15 of us. some of them slept, some were up playing games. poor roomie didn't sleep the whole night. but yea. it was scary. like 10 of us i think. got through 48+6 beers.

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i've been quite emo recently, i dunno why.
but right now. i relly dunno what to do, slash what i am doing.
it's been a mistake that was made in july 2008, and i really really wished i would have picked the other choice. i can't turn bk time to fix that mistake, but i don't want to have to deal with the consequences.

i wanna shoot myself in the head.
urgh/////////////////////////
i wish things were different, but i guess i always do.